Bogged Down

Hello lovely readers,

I have been feeling very bogged down as of late. Work has been crazy and full of drama and the more I read and watch things about tiny houses the more I wonder if this is even worth it. I have always been the girl who did everything she was suppose to. And to others like me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as you are happy. But lately I find no joy from my job, and my work. I am young, very young to many, but I have had a full time job since the time I was 12, not including school. If I wasn't at school I was being a nanny for children, or working at a restaurant and babysitting and then I moved out to Washington as soon as I graduated high school, 1 week after to be exact and got a job 2 weeks after I moved out here, full time. I think the longest time without me working a full time job was 2 weeks actually, those 2 weeks after I moved out here.

I should be lucky I know. Many people are without jobs and cannot pay any of their bills and forced into destitution. I do feel grateful to be working and I do work my butt off while I am at my job. However, I don't feel appreciated by upper management and feel as if I just keep working at this job because I am afraid of if I don't work. My husband has a job. A great career starting job in fact, in the field he has always wanted to work in. I am happy for him. I am happy for the both of us. We are saving money and looking forward to the future. However, I am starting to get sick of looking towards the future. I want to see that happiness and those goals now.

I am absolutely in love with my husband and I crave the time I spend with him. When I am not at work I feel more fulfilled and very content. While I am at work I crave for that time to be more creative, and find myself regretting being at work. My job isn't horrible. I do not have an abusive boss or anything of the like but it just isn't me.

I want to be able to grow my own food and build a small house for my family. I want to be able to have a few goats and chickens and knit and spin my own yarn. I want to be able to go hiking more and enjoy being outside and working on my spirituality more. My spirituality is very based with nature and the elements around us and I have the feeling of being bogged down so much I have almost lost my connection to her great beauty. I want to unplug and commune again. I want to just live. I want to do the things I always talked about doing but now just actually do it.

Now I am going to try to see if I can do this within a year. The planning and hard core savings must ensue.

I am going to talk to my father about getting some of his tools so I can start planning on our next big adventure.

Until next time!